Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Two words: blizzard sex
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I party with great urgency now.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
