i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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