Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I looked at my own cervix.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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