Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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