this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
