Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I pour the whiskey from now on
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