just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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