Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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