i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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