By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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