I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize