Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Randomize
