is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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