what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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