tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
