Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
