idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
