FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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