I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
