I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
This house was built for laser tag.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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