Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
