I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
