You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
