Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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