filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
