I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
foreskin is a definite game changer
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
