When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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