Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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