The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
