you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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