Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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