WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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