We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
