This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
