FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
