so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
