In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
