yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
