Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
