Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
