Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
