before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
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Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
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Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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