That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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