what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
