He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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