Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
