sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
