you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
