I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
