im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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