I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I think your dad took our porno
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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