Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
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