he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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