I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
