So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Randomize
