btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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