Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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