i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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