I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize