i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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