after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Can I color on your dick again?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize