I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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