ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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