I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
